Baby, it's cold outside

So, Erin wants a new coat, you know, for when the weather gets cold. Like it is now. It’s supposed to be one of those “down-water-resistant-I-ski-on-the-weekend” type coats. Personally, I don’t know why she’s even bothering since she makes fun of my “George Castanza Coat”. For those of you who were possibly in a coma or Amish during the 90’s, the “George Castanza Coat” also known as “The Puffy Coat” is the greatest piece of winter wear ever invented. I mean, it’s gore-tex, after all.

Anyway, I love my coat. It’s big and it’s puffy and it keeps me warm. When I’m going through my “What am I looking for in a coat?” checklist, it pretty much fits the bill. I went out and got my coat the old fashioned way: I drove down to the department store, searched through a few billion racks until I found a coat that would satisfy my needs (sadly, it didn’t satisfy ALL of my “keep me warm in the winter” needs, but that’s neither here nor there) and also didn’t cost roughly the same as the GDP of a third world country. I got my coat, paid in cash, and left one satisfied customer.

Erin, on the other hand, is going about things in a slightly more high-tech manner. Currently, she’s looking at coats/jackets on-line and making comments while I’m pretending to pay attention, though, I’m pretty sure she’s figured out that I usually tune out at times like this and think about who to start and sit on my fantasy football team or the next Carolina game. You know, things of high importance.

Anyway, as I pretend to pay attention to Erin’s quest for the perfect winter coat I can’t help but think, “isn’t it amazing how technology has let us streamline our lives to the point where we can have minimal human contact in just about everything we do?” It’s GREAT! Let’s face it, people suck, and the less we have to do with each other, the better off we’ll be. Good riddance, I say! It’s like the credit card commercials where everyone’s so in tune with each other that they move in theatrical harmony as they pay for their whatever-they’re-buyings with the electronic swipey card (not the actual name, but I’m sure it’s pretty close). Well, in these commercials there’s always one loser (probably the type of person who didn’t watch Seinfeld) who tries to pay with cash. This is when everything goes to pot. The music screeches to a halt, random items tumble and topple, in short, paying with cash leads to the onset of Revelations. So, as Erin surfs from website to website looking for that special something to keep her warm during the cold, cold, winter months, I can’t help but smile. I smile because I know one thing that she doesn’t: no matter what her coat looks like or how warm it keeps her I will make fun of it and call it her George Castanza Coat. God bless technology.

Only 49%???

It's been a while since I put up one of these things, so I guess I should do this dang thang. You know, to ensure that I make quota or whatever it is that keeps this site running. Plus my reader has been really bummed that I haven't posted anything in a while.

So what's the haps? Other than the fact that my job is killing me. Slowly, but surely... and enjoying every minute of it... the only new thing in my life is that I will soon be paying mortgage instead of rent soon. Yeah, who knew? THAT was unexpected! Holla! Excuse me, I misspelled that. Hola! That one was for all my South American peeps. Represent!

Anyway, the whole getting a house and renovating a house has led me to find out, nee - discover, a few things about myself. Things that I find slightly alarming, but I am not ashamed to admit them.

1. I secretly want to be an interior decorator. And have been buying magazines that confirm this.

2. You know that really annoying Ikea commercial? The one where the girl sings, "Be brave not beige. Build a rainbow palace not an oatmeal cage!" While her living room tries to become a walk-in bag of Skittles? Well, not literally, but I'm pretty sure they managed to fit in every color visable to the human eye, and if you look close enough, even a few that aren't. Erin hates this commercial and changes the channel every time it comes on. But me, I secretly like it. Don't tell her.

3. The thought of being able to run laundry and get shit done in my own home and NOT having to wait in line for a washer or dryer at the laundry mat gives me a bit of a chubby.

4. While I will have a gas range of some kind, I'm REALLY looking forward to barbecuing every meal on my back patio. And trust me, when I say every meal I mean EVERY MEAL. If breakfast is a bowl of cereal you can bet your sweet ass that I'm gonna figure out a way to bbq or grill it.

5. I'm a bit on the fence about this one, but I figure you can't have a home without cable, right? So the thought of cable puts a smile on my face. And it'll make Erin happy since I'm sure she thinks I live in the stone age. Or I'm Amish. And I am neither of those things, though I do really, really enjoy stones.

And on an unrelated note, I now have a new tv show on dvd that makes me feel all happy in my happy place for those times when I'm not feeling so jolly. Sorry Scrubs, but you have officially been replaced by The Office. Over the past two weekends I've watched seasons 1-3 and it's the bomb like Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Office marathons are way better than weekly installations. Jeez, I've wasted a lot of time writing this silly lil' thing. Maybe if I had more time for procrastination I could write more. We should set the clocks back every weekend. That would be sweet.