My girlfriend can tell you which comes first...

I think a Good Idea for marriage would be for people to only marry those who have the same view on critical issues to get together. Sounds a bit complicated, I know. That’s why there should also be a social networking website to help. Now, when I say “critical issues” I mean those big hulking questions that have been plaguing mankind for eons.

For example, are you a chicken person or an egg person? The question of course being, “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” Duh. The chicken. It says so. Reread the sentence… Pretty obvious, right??? But for some reason people tend to disagree. That’s where the website comes into play. All the egg people will form an egg network and all the chicken people will form a chicken network and they’ll start to pair up.

Now, this isn’t even the best part of my Good Idea. After pairing up and getting married, or socially unioned, or what ever it is your particular state or province will allow the couples will have two kids (or adopt… or get a dingo as a pet and let it do its thing). Now here’s where the genius comes into play. If you’re a chicken couple, you name your first kid Chicken and your second kid Egg. If you’re an egg person, you name your first kid Egg and your second kid Chicken. This way you solidify your union, have concrete proof of what came first, and as a kicker it’s a nice reminder to your kids that in the grand scheme of things they are insignificant and really just the butt of some cosmic joke. It builds character.

Another good coupling would be people who don’t believe in the theory of evolution. I think they could all get together and maybe create communities where they shut out the rest of world, except maybe to share their wares and possilbly teach us how to make barrels and such. And I think we’ll call them Amish.

You know who else should have an exclusive social networking site for people who only believe the same thing? People who want to see Sarah Palin naked. Now, I know I’m not the only one. In fact, I’ve read blogs and overheard conversations in bars, so I know I’m not the only one. Now, don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying anyone wants to actually sleep with her, but there’s just something about a crazy-gun totin’-no foreign policy havin’-vengeful-shot gun marriage forcin’-I shouln’t have rights to my own body-govna that makes me want to see her better assets. Or maybe it’s just me. I’ve always had a thing for women with power (or in her case, potential power… I cringed after I typed that). I mean, I wouldn’t mind having a peek at that queen lady across the pond either. Hot. Stuff. More than likely, it has something to do with the fact that she looks like so many famous to moderately famous women that I’m thinking if I saw her naked I could just sort of cross all the others off my list. It’s efficient. I like efficiency. Except that crappy apartment I had for a year. $575 for a box with a bathroom that’s just a step up from a chamber pot??? Where do I sign!

Oh, I’m rambling again. I should stop that. Where’s my Ritalin? But seriously, let’s make this chicken-egg thing happen!