So. Apparently we've just about reached that point where life imitates art. Don't you love it when life imitates art? Like people start singing about crazy shit and then you have school shootings (so of course it's because of the crazy shit the kids have been listening to. Two and two make four right?) I mean, personally, I've been listening to crazy ass lyrics since I was like 10 and I'm a relative maladjusted individual. But I've never had the urge to do anything TOO crazy. At least not to others. No, all my damage is self-deprecating.
But where was I??? Something about life imitating art. I especially like it when life is like a Dali painting. But that usually only happens after a really good buzz. Which hasn't happened in a while. Honest. I swear. Officer, this isn't even my car. I borrowed it from my grandma, and she has glaucoma. Apparently, we're almost to the point where we can genetically engineer a kid, like in the movie Gattaca.
Some people are saying this is so unethical and it's such a horrible, unnatural thing. And to them I say, "I love the movie Gattaca. The movie Gattaca is an entertaining, insightful science fiction movie. Also, the movie Gattaca is just Gattaca, but I think it adds to the depth of the movie if I refer to it as the movie Gattaca." Also, think about how cool it would be to have a kid with one green eye and blue eye? They could go around hypnotizing people and making them do funny tricks. Not malicious tricks, though. No one likes a multi-eye colored hypnotists who uses his/her powers for evil. That shit's just not cool.
The claim was that people would be able engineer the easy things like eye/hair/skin color, height, general body type first and eventually we'd be able to do the same with intelligence, demeanor, personality, etc. I can't wait. I bet there'll be huge baby cannels and prospective "parents" will rummage around looking for the perfect child/pet. Who knew there'd eventually be something to replace tiny shivering dogs as the most have fashion accessory. Although I have seen those baby leash things, you know, the one where the kid is strapped into a harness and the harness is attached to a leash and some idiot parent is leading his/her kid around and saying things like, "C'mere, Spot! Sit, Spot! Good boy!" Now, it is my personal opinion that if you make you child wear a kiddie leash and then also name him Spot, well, you're just an ass.
And of course you know they'll be those antiestablishment types who will want to prove a point by engineering some incredibly dumb, incredibly mean, incredibly ugly, Quasi Modo kid. Um, maybe it's even happened in certain parts of Philly, but that's neither here nor there. Well, I've gotten to the point in my rant where I don't remember exactly what the point I was trying to make was, so I'll have to wrap it up.
We're getting to the point where life will imitate art. I pray God it's not directed by Mel Gibson.
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2 comments:
I enjoyed your post and found it to be witty and insightful, but I had to comment on the harness thing.
We adopted 2 children from the foster care system who are now 4 and 9 years old. Both were exposed prenatally to alcohol and other drugs and both have FASD (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders).
We often use a harness for our 4 yr year old daughter because she has zero impulse control, no understanding of consequences and she is extremely hyperactive. She has sensory integration disorder from her FASD and sometimes the tactile sensation of holding hands is too much for her to deal with.
My daughter is adorable and most people have no idea at first sight that she has a disability. We get the stares and the comments when we use the harness. In a recent post on my blog I talked about having to confront someone who kept commenting on my "brat on a leash" and her desire that I control her better and teach her to behave in public. People have no idea how difficult it is to parent children who have somewhat invisible but devastating disabilities and I am so tired of having to deal with all the ignorance.
We didn't build our kids. We love them for who they are and the only thing I would change if I could is the ignorance of the rest of the world. ~Kari
Of course I was making a general statement. If your child has an honest to goodness reason for being in a harness, then I of course, have no beef with that.
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