So. Here I am. Lazing around on my couch, pretending to work on the IEP that’s been open for the past hour or so. Maybe if I tell myself “I’ve been working hard” enough times I will believe it. But really, does that work with anything other than “I’msopretty, I’msopretty, I’msopretty”? Probably not. Though, it never hurts to try. I guess all I’ve really been doing for the past hour is admiring the bargain curtains that I put up, which look simply SMASHING hanging from the faux brass shower rods in my living room. The Taj Mahal ain’t got shit on me!
Aren’t girls great? Whoa, where’d that come from? One minute you’re staring at drapes, the next minute you’re thinking about girls. One would think that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but since I’m doing the thinking and not this One fella, I guess it doesn’t matter what One thinks. Anyway I like girls. I like drapes. They both make me horny and um, I guess they both turn a house into a home. Yeah. Drapes and girls, they go together like Fox News and unbiased reporting. Back to my earlier statement: aren’t girls great? Well, ok. Let’s amend that: some girls are great. Some girls are great at making life suck. Those girls aren’t great. Then again, maybe you’re, like, some tortured Goth teen in such for the perfect girl to make your life suck. In which case, those girls are great too. So I guess it’s unanimous: girls are great.
Jeezus Christ on a popsicle stick. What the hell am I talking about? I guess I really don’t want to write this IEP. Maybe I should say something coherent before I wrap this up. In keeping my streak of most-consecutive-months-as-the-world’s-coolest-person in tact, I decided to watch the national spelling bee last Thursday. Aside from learning there’s some strange sect that manages to produce bigger and bigger dorks each year, and that spelling bee parents are only slightly less crazy than pre-teen beauty pageant parents (by the way, you know what would be the best reality show ever? If we filmed the parents of a bunch of beauty pageant contestants and the parents of a bunch of spelling be contestants and made the audience guess who was who. I mean, wouldn’t that be at least as entertaining as the show about the 5th graders? See, this is why I should move to Cali… but I digress). The other thing I learned is what is quickly becoming my new favorite word: kakistocracy. Kakistocracy – n – government by the worst persons; a form of government in which the worst persons are in power. Has this word been around forever? Why am I only hearing about it now? Personally, I blame the public school system. I think I’m going to call it a night. With all these crazy thoughts in my head I’ll probably dream of a great girl or an inept government. Either way, it promises to be entertaining.
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